A Push Of Motivation


It's been a while since I've shared a little motivation but now I'm here to share a push of motivation. As you know, I love a good quote and the best ones always get me through the days, so I wanted to share some for those who needs it around this time of year.

Disclaimer: the following photos do no belong to me, all found from Pinterest










Want to know more?


Books I Still Need To Read


Okay, let me just shove my disclaimer right here, right now because I am no book blogger, I have no idea how to judge a book. This post is purely to tell you what a rubbish reader I am.

In the beginning of the year, I aimed to read at least 1 book a month (yeah yeah I know it's not much but it was a start for me, but wait for it) so... it's October and I've read ONE book THIS YEAR SO FAR. Disgraceful!

Last year, I did read more books than that and I was on a roll, I don't know what's happened to me but I am hoping that publicly shaming myself, it will get me to read all these books that have been piling up over the past year or so.

Some of these books are from my sister, given to me as part of my presents for Christmas and my birthday. So of course I want to read them all, I can't tell you exactly what each book is about but I trust that my sister knows me well enough to know which books I enjoy.

DON'T YOU CRY by MARY KUBICA

MASESTRA by L.S. HILTON

MISSING, PRESUMED by SUSIE STEINER

AFTER THE CRASH by MICHEL BUSSI

I started this book while I was reading another (silly I know, God knows why I even tried), the first few pages I read got my attention and I am so excited to read this book again.

US by DAVID NICHOLLS

Funny story about this one, James & I bought the same book about 2 years ago - James doesn't read, so I thought this would be a perfect way to get him into it. Long story short, it didn't;t happen, we got to 27 pages and never picked it up again. So I hope to give it another go.

LOVE & MISADVENTURE by LANG LEAV

I've bought this book ages ago, I have been reading this for a while but I tend to always go back to the same poems again and again, but I can't say I've read each poem.

Have you read any of these books? What's you favourite book?
Let me know in the comments below

Want to know more?


Another Page


As lay here, curled up in a ball with my hands clutched to my face, trying to stop myself from crying.
I'm losing my mind..

“Is he lying to me again?”
“What is he hiding from me?”
“Why won’t he just say it?”
“Why doesn’t anyone ever understand me?”

“Why am I crying like this?”
I gasp for air, I make a horrid screech and I begin to sob all over again.

“What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I stop?”

I can’t breathe. I just want it to stop. Please help. Make it stop.

As I lay here, curled up in a ball with one hand rested on my face, I wonder

“What have I done wrong?”

Don’t cry out too loudly, they will hear. They’ll ask questions. They’ll blame you because
it’s always your fault. 

Want to know more?


Relationship Goals


You know when you’re scrolling through social media and you see that hot damn couple being all cute and shit? #relationshipgoals right? Like omg he got her 100 roses, got 21 balloons with Polaroid photos hanging from them and planned a private jet to New York. Omg jel, am I right?

We’re all guilty of seeing amazing couples on social media and don’t get me wrong, we’re nothing like that but we’ve had a few #relationshipgoals comments on our posts and pictures, and believe me we are flattered, we are so blessed that people think we are enough to be #goals

I’m not taking the piss out of people who comment that because I am guilty of doing it too or am I trying to sound boastful, the point of this post is that no one is goals and nothing is what it seems on social media. I know it’s been said before but for the purpose of this post, I’ll be talking about my own relationship.

First things first, James and I have just recently celebrated our 3 year anniversary, we just came back from 5 weeks of travelling together, we have been blessed to have lived together, been able to grow together, share our stories and adventures with our over on our food and travel blogs, as well as vlogs - this of course shows our happy times, our best times and our love.

Again, I’m not saying none of that is true. It definitely is but I want to express that we are not relationship goals at all.

We fight, we scream, we call each other names and do crazy ass shit. We have been through troubles that no one can even imagine. We’ve lied, we’ve hidden things and we’ve done things that the other wouldn’t like but that’s not that things you see, those are not the things we choose to show you.

I’m one moody bitch and hella spoilt but I won’t show you that ugly side because that’s not how I want to be seen, see my point here?

Heck there are things about us personally that obviously you don’t know about us, only recently have I opened up about my mental health and slowly it’s coming out more but yet I still have people tell me they would have never have thought that.

Same goes with this.
Whoever you see, doing what they’re doing over on social media. It’s never the full story.

We may be picture perfect but we are not perfect and neither is our relationship. If we were goals, then it’s because our goal is to stick by each other no matter what shit we go through because we know the other person is worth it, because we know that we are stronger than what we are fighting about, that we fully accept one another for who we are and we will continue to accept and grow together.

I am thankful for him and I am thankful for those who support us, but I know I’ve seen couples and wished for what they have because of how they portray themselves on social media, but we’re all different inside and I’m happy with who I am and with what I’ve got. Be happy with who you are and be happy with what you’ve got, #relationshipgoal or #singlepringle, you focus on you and aim for your own goal. 

Want to know more?


Getting Ready To Say Goodbye


Before I get into this properly, I'm going to give you a little background story for those who don't already know;

My boyfriend, James and I had started our relationship on a "long distance" basis - long distance to us is living in different cities, travelling over 2 hours via train and only seeing each other every other weekend. I don't know about you, but that ish cost money, but that's besides the point. We lived this way for about over a year and a half, until James did his placement year in London and this is when we lived together for over a year.

But that's all about to change in a few days from today, which James will be returning to university for his final year.

I know many people have will say 'it's only a few months' and yes that's true, but can you imagine, living with someone for over a year, not to mention recently coming back from our travels and spending 35 days straight together, to simply going back to seeing each other every other weekend?

Although one would think it'd be easier because 'we've done it before' but this is a whole other ball park, things have changed in between that and our bond has changed through the year of dealing and doing most things together.

Don't get me wrong, we agreed to do it this way. We have discussed about continuing to live together there but we felt for his final year it would be best to allow this time to focus on our future, for him his education and for me, starting my career.

No matter how much we will tell ourselves this is what we wanted, it will never fully prepare us for the time we have to say goodbye. Of course it's not forever (he's coming to London next week for our anniversary), of course it's not the end of the world but it won't be great - we'll be sad, I'll be sad.

It's going to suck saying goodbye, to leave, get on a train and know I won't be waking up to him every morning anymore.

Want to know more?


I Have 5 Tattoos & I Want More

A while ago, I was having a discussion with my b/vlogger besties, Katey and Francesca, who I've also met in real life (also another meet up in process) and we were having a conversations about tattoos, as I'd had watched Katey's YouTube video about her tattoos back in the day, which lead us to finding out about each other's tattoos that we never knew they had. So since then I've always wondered how many people knew I had some. I actually have 5, but ones a secret...

So here are my tattoos, in order of when I got them and explaining the reason or meaning behind it.



Wrist

I got this tattoo 2 days after my 18th birthday and it was actually paid for by my cousin as it was my present from her to me. I was influenced by this tattoo by a Tumblr photo I saw and loved it so much I drew it on my wrist for months before actually getting it, to make sure I wanted it.

The meaning behind this is kind of long and deep but yeah, when I was in my mothers womb, my heart stopped 7 times and my mum ended up having an emergency C section and basically throughout my life and anyone else's we face battles that sometimes we don't think we will pass. So I wanted this tattoo to remind me that the worse thing that can happen to you is die (hence the heart beat) and since I've basically gone through that with my heart stopping, I can 'keep going' through everything else in life.

Forearm - Anchor

This is actually a matching tattoo with the same cousin who paid for my first tattoo (can you tell we're close?) we've wanted matching tattoos to symbolise our family love and bond together (and because we just wanted another tattoo) and an Anchor symbolises just that.

It's a simple anchor, nothing fancy at all but I did draw it myself and is now printed on us both.
Meaning: stability and loyalty

Under side boob - secret one
This is a very personal one that only the closest people who know me know and that's a solid handful of people. I'm going to keep this one as a secret as I'm not sure how ready I am to express this yet over on the blog but I'm sure one day I will and refer it back to this post. 

Under side boob - 6 Birds

Funnily enough, this tattoo and the one above were done on separate occasions even though they technically relate to each other. These birds represent letting go. Take that as you wish, as far as your imagination will take you but it's what I wanted and needed to do for myself.


Thigh

I got this done a few days or maybe a week before my 20th birthday. This is obviously by far the biggest tattoo I have.

I always knew I wanted a feather and I had an image I wanted done but the tattoo artist came up with something much better, so I went with his idea. The reason behind this was to signify a new start, a new life and to 'free yourself'. I do intend on expanding my thigh tattoo but I'm just not sure what yet exactly, so that's taken a very long time to add to but it has to be right.

// 

I don't regret any of my tattoos and I believe I have a very high tolerance of pain that I would say none of them hurt, some actually tickled but that's just me!

Do you have any tattoos?
Let me know in the comments below! 

Want to know more?