The Truth About Lies

Wednesday, April 05, 2017 17 Comments A+ a-


We all do it.

To protect them, their feelings or to protect yourself and your feelings or maybe you're just a straight up dick.

"No thank you, I'm not hungry." "I'll be there in 10 minutes." "5 minutes." "I don't mind."

"No I haven't cheated." "I won't ever do that you you." "How could you ever say that?"

"I'm fine." "I am so happy for you." "I'm okay." "I'm here for you." "Forever.."

Sound familiar? Whether you're the person saying or it or you've heard it all before, in one way or another, we've all been there done that, got the mug and the T-Shirt (if you haven't then you are living the life). But anyway, do we ever think of the consequences that these lies are doing?

Little white lies. It's just natural instinct right? You don't want to disappoint, what harm would it make to them? But does all lies only effect the person you're lying to?

Why can't you say you're hungry? Why can't you just tell them you're actually 40 mins away, they're only going to have to wait for you anyway? Why don't you just tell them where you'd prefer to eat, you're the one who'll be paying?

Have you ever lied?

Okay we all know I didn't come here to talk about the small little white lies, I'm talking about lies overall, the lies that change lives, the lives the make you question everything. Did they really love me? Did they ever mean what they said? What else have they lied about? Big or small, any lie can do this.

Have you ever caught out someone in a lie, but you still can't get your head around it? What did I do to deserve this you tell yourself, what could I have done to prevent this or why would they do this? These are just some of the questions that run through your head. Was I not worth the Truth?

Once upon a time, I lied. I created huge lies, I got caught and I ruined someone's life. I won't tell you what and I'm not sharing details, but I fucked up - real bad! For the longest of time, I made up this story in my head and at some point it wasn't a "lie" to me anymore, it was the "truth" I sound absolutely crazy I know but it happens and I know I'm not the only one.

When I got caught, I admitted defeat, not that it made anything better but the weight of this lie has disappeared, of course I suffered the consequences of losing that person in my life and having to face the people who knew the truth. I didn't just ruin their life, I ruined mine and I lost the trust of many. I punished myself for ages and I promised myself I'd never tell a single lie again and I haven't.

Let's fast forward now to the person I am today, although I can tell you from the bottom of my heart I've never lied since, it doesn't mean I've never withheld the truth (don't ask what you don't want to know) but the lies I've told had shaped me to become the person I want to be! I may come across to out there and being blunt is something that overcomes me but overall I'd like to think I'm not that bad. I know how to be civil, I'm not just a raving honest person screaming what I'm thinking 24/7.

Have you ever been lied to?

Back to the actual main point of this, when you're the one lying, let's be honest, you don't really think about the other person as you're more concerned of covering your own ass, but a while back now, I felt what it would to be on the other end, the one being lied to.

Again, I won't go into detail but yes I have been burnt and lied to, badly I may add and to be deeply honest with you, I believe it's karma and solely deserved but again, the after effect of being lied to, the short and long term emotions, I would not wish upon anyone.

I now have trust issues, knowing that I've "innocently" lied to people, not thinking it would effect them and it probably wouldn't if they never found out but what I've learnt is that no matter when the lie was told, one way or another, sooner or later every single lie will one day come out and if you believe in karma or whatever, it will come biting you back in the ass.

I know how it feels to be lied to, to be badly burnt, to finally feel first hand how I've made another feel and I feel terrible, horrible, like the worse person in the world but I won't let it define me, I've used this to channel in becoming a better person of myself and to be the person I want to be.

I'm still getting over the emotions of being lied to and to be honest, I don't think it'll ever disappear, all I can do now is move forward with my life and make a difference within myself, as changing the world starts with you.

Would you rather be lied to or would you prefer the brutal truth?

Want to know more?

17 comments

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Wednesday, 05 April, 2017 delete

This post demonstrates the impact of lies pedantically! You are spot on chick.

I think I, personally, would rather someone give me the brutal truth as opposed to lying to me. Lies never lead to anything fruitful. It's a slippery slope from there.

Excellent post and you're doing wonderful with this separate blog of you own chick :)

Charlene McElhinney
@blogabtnothing1

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Micah Lee
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Wednesday, 05 April, 2017 delete

This post literally made me feel like you were having a conversation with me face-to-face. Love this Jess! <3

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Thursday, 06 April, 2017 delete

Aww Jess this post is a really touching one! I can completely empathise with the positions of those who have lied and those who have been lied to - I think it's a real show of your strength of character that you can admit to having done wrong, good on you! We all make mistakes but it's how we react to them and move on that makes us a better person! Thank you for sharing this, what a fab read!

Abbey 💖 www.abbeylouisarose.co.uk

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Thursday, 06 April, 2017 delete

This was so well written and felt like we were in a room together! I think i'd prefer a brutal truth every time it will never hurt as much as finding out you've been lied to in the long run xx

Sophia x http://sophiawhitham.co.uk

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Thursday, 06 April, 2017 delete

I love this! Lies can be so damaging and I don't think everyone realises that.

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Elly Mitchell
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Thursday, 06 April, 2017 delete

Really great, and raw post, and brave of you to write, especially when admitting and acknowledging your own faults. I think we've all been there, we've all said things we shouldn't, or done things we shouldn't, it's part of human nature, I think as long as you understand when you've fucked up and try to fix it, you can't be too hard on yourself for making mistakes.

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Abigail West
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Thursday, 06 April, 2017 delete

This is a really interesting post to read. A lot of people don't realise the impacts a lie can have until those impacts have become a reality. And it's really sad. I'm sure we've all done it and learnt from our mistakes. We can only change our ways and start being honest to everyone.
Anyway, where does lying get you? Nowhere. A lot of the time makes the situation worse.

Loved this.
Abs x
https://afababulouslife.blogspot.com

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Thursday, 06 April, 2017 delete

You're such a talented writer! I loved reading this post it made me feel like you were talking directly to me 💖

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Reva
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Thursday, 06 April, 2017 delete

This post was excellent! I always prefer the brutal truth, hearing it or telling it it's my preference, hands down!

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Abbie
AUTHOR
Thursday, 06 April, 2017 delete

Such a brave post to write and I love your honesty! Lies are a thin line and I'll be honest and say I would lie to cover myself and then although it wouldn't necessarily ruin a persons life they would be angry that I lied about it. I would much rather someone be honest with me about something than lie about it especially if it was something that could end up being worse if they did lie about it

Abbie • overpeachchic.com

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Sarah A
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Thursday, 06 April, 2017 delete

I always say the truth and I'm sometimes too blatant about it! (that's what my friends say!) I would prefer to hear the truth even if it will hurt. Nothing is as horrible as finding out about something that you thought was true and in fact was a lie!

Sarah | What Sarah Writes

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ThatGirlYT
AUTHOR
Thursday, 06 April, 2017 delete

This post, oh my! You really hit the nail on the head, lady.

"when you're the one lying, let's be honest, you don't really think about the other person as you're more concerned of covering your own ass" - so true. I absolutely cannot stand it when people say "I only lied because I wanted to protect you". No, you didn't - you're simply still lying!

I'm obviously not going to sit here and say I've never lied before (because that would be a lie), but I've definitely also been on the receiving end of soul-crushing lies and it does not feel good. Honesty is key, although it can be hard sometimes to spill the truth.

This post is so honest and genuine, I love it! Thank you for being brave enough to actually say these things out loud.

xoxo
Freya
thatgirlyt.wordpress.com

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hannxo
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Thursday, 06 April, 2017 delete

So well written, you've made so many spot-on points there! Really made me consider a lot :)

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Lolita Bonita
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Thursday, 06 April, 2017 delete

Wow what a moving and honest post the world may be a better place if we all told the truth it may not. It also comes down to us a people. Can we handle the blunt honesty I think many of us unfortuantly not. I have told some small uns and maybe dome big ones I think to protect me and others around me. However there is you and your own moral compass to deal with in the end x
Lola Mia // www.lolitabonita.co.uk

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Thursday, 06 April, 2017 delete

I've been on both sides of the spectrum and neither feels good, but we're only human and we all make mistakes!

This is written so well, well done lovely!

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Thursday, 06 April, 2017 delete

Great post! I think I'd rather be told the truth, because even thought I might be hurt at first, at least I can move on, but I understand the need to lie to protect someone you love. This was such a well written post! Xx

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Wednesday, 12 April, 2017 delete

I'm someone that can't stand being lied to!! If I find out I've been lied to by a friend I instantly cut them off now maybe not alwaya completly but emotionally I'm over them and we won't be very good close friends!! Ive had people make yo lies about me and its fucking awful trying to defend yourself against something you know has been completely made up! When your younger its easy to make mistakes though and I get that! I Think lying in some situations is okay like for example if your friend has put on weight like you don't need to tell em' that, just let them feel good about themselves you know?

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